Naming Your Children

How many of us have been blessed with a common, you're-stupid-if-you-spell-it-wrong name?
Well, I don't know how many, but I can guess.


Dearest parents, this world is over 5 million years old, and I assure you, the name you're about to christen your child with has already been picked more than a million times. Although what I am stating right now is not a fact, it is indeed common sense. If you're about to name your child something along the lines of Bob Smith, then there is something askew with you. Or maybe your brain is more logical. But hey, if your brain was logical, you would name your kid something like Reason or Arithmetic. But please don't do that, because that will curse your child from the day of their birth. And you don't want to do that because you are a loving, affectionate parent... Right?
As I was saying, naming your children should be a big deal, and not something you decide on last minute. It's like writing the answer for the mathematical equation, but not showing the work, as the question has stated (what is with me and math?!). And don't think spelling the common name "uniquely" will solve the problem (E.g Kady- pronounced as Katie... Yep. A "Mean Girls" example. Darn it, a copyrighted example again!). The only option for you, soon-to-be-parents, is that you must invent a name. It must sound hard because I can hear you cringe in your seat all the way from there... Wherever you are. Alack, no! It is not as hard as it seems. Simply think of something your teenage child will not be embarrassed of.


You were a teenager once too, remember?




And no, I didn't laugh when I typed this up. I am fully serious... Can you believe that?


Sincerely,


A